Phonix From The Flames
by bobdabuilder0804
Summary: Jack, Audry, Tony... Season 4 AU ending. Not related to the shows ending at all. Kinda sad! Reposted without the lyrics... R and R is always good cheers :D


Re-posting this fiction without the lyrics. Sorry if you read it the first time around!

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Phoenix From the Flames.

It was over. There was no way it could go on. She couldn't do it to her husband, she couldn't do it to herself, she'd been fooling around for long enough. Jack Bauer was a person she no longer needed. When she had ran into his arms six months ago she had been weak, she had been blind, she had made a mistake.

Things had been okay between them, despite his mood swings and the way he lived on the negative side of life, things were okay. He cared about her, she was the centre of his attention. He loved her completely, and for the first time in a long time, she had felt special.

But that was all it had been, she had been overwhelmed by his love and swept over by his generosity. But he wasn't the kind heart he had pretended to be, that night she had gone to his apartment. In his interview her father had bluntly asked him why he should hire a drug addict, the same scum his people were working to get rid of. It was an old tactic of his, see how much bull shit and abuse a candidate can take and how they react. Audrey had stood against the wall behind her father with a clear view of the man. She had looked out of the window as his face had reddened, feeling sorry for him. She had pitied him, she told herself, that's all it was.

He had calmly apologised for wasting her fathers time and respectfully left the building. Audrey was cringing inside, the poor man hadn't even defended himself, her mind was consumed with sympathy. After he had left her father had given her the brief, and his decision that Jack Bauer would be perfect for the job, as long as they kept control of him.

She had been ordered to call him the following morning to apologise for her fathers behaviour and tell him he had the job. Out of sorrow she went over to his apartment in the city right away, getting the address from his file.

She rang the bell constantly until the man had finally let his visitor up. As he opened the door dressed in sweats and looking tired Audrey had felt her heart go out to him again. He was surprised and confused as he led the woman inside, and quietly listened as she explained the interview technique practised on him. He let out a quiet chuckle before thanking her for the news.

Since then she hadn't been able to stop thinking about him. Curious of her father words she had checked into his history, read about the addiction and his coloured past, he was quite a personality and a legend too, it appeared. She found herself becoming more and more captivated with the man, they way he lived and the life he had. It was only interest which had sparked her feelings.

Shortly after he began working closely with her it was clear he was attracted to her. Without them really realising how it had happened, they were in a developed relationship relaying on each other. Truth was, they needed each other, Audrey concluded, he had no life and so he focused his efforts onto her. She had been suffering emotionally from the split with her husband and had been taken in by the opportunity to be with somebody who cared for her and could take away the pain.

That was all there was. Need, dependency and distraction. No love.

Besides, when things had been good, good enough for her to consider the possibility of something real here, he was scared. He tried to hide away in himself. She could see it in him, it was like he wanted to do something to show her he was bad but couldn't in case doing so hurt her; the whole thing was ridiculous. He was damaged goods, in a sense, and clearly had relationship issues. He was scared of her falling in love with him, despite the fact that he was completely hypnotised by her. Strange, she had thought at the time, there was nothing noble about it to her. Even if he was ultimately trying to protect her, the only thing she needed saving from was herself. Not him, she wasn't as intoxicated by him as he was her.

Once Jack had left her and Paul to go after the terrorist responsible for the days events she knew what she had to do. She had called Paul over, apologised for allowing Jack to hurt him, and told him she was ready to talk for real now. Jack wasn't the man for her, he was right, he was just a thug with a badge and nothing more. She though about the time he had looked after her when she was ill and pushed the memory away. There were times when they had connected, been happy, but now she realised what little they had had was a lie. He wasn't worth thinking about, she should just forget him and move on.

If she hadn't loved him at all why was there a constant continuous nagging sensation in her stomach telling her it should be Jack she was running to and not her husband? Okay so if she hadn't loved him she had still felt safe in his arms, protected. Maybe that's why she had stayed with him, knowing he would save her from the pain, unlike Paul who had inflicted it without knowing. But now he did know and it wouldn't happen again. And if nobody hurt her again she wouldn't need Jack to save her, now would she?

She had told Jack later that day, that it was over. She had been lying to herself in a haze of confusion for the past few months spent together. Her true feelings for Jack were hidden beneath anger and pain, did she even know what she had felt at all. Maybe she had loved him, at one point. She cared, she knew that much. When he was in danger she worried, when he was upset she tried to cheer him up… that had to mean something didn't it? Part of her was angry at Paul for showing up and creating so much mess in her head. Even if it hadn't been love, whatever it was, it had been okay, she could live with it and make the best of it.

Only now she couldn't, as she had told Jack it was over. She had enjoyed her time with him, but it couldn't go on. She and Paul were meant to be together, and he needed her now, so things would be different. A new leaf, a fresh start. They had both learnt from there mistakes and the time apart, the time with Jack, would serve as a lesson for both of them, and a warning too, of what could happen if they threw it away. He had to move on too, she had said gently, feeling terrible for hurting this man, knowing deep down she was making a mistake.

Her stomach tightened when the look of pain had etched its way across his face, he couldn't hide it, he was devastated. But once again she was falling for him because of his vulnerability, so she would be needed to make him whole. That wasn't right and she couldn't do it to either of them again. He had watched as she turned and walked away, towards Paul who was waiting by the entrance of CTU. No questions were asked he understood what had happened. She and Paul hit a rough patch, she shacked up with him and had a good time, it was exciting and new. Then she saw Paul again and realised she had feelings for him. Her decision to leave him had probably been made certain after she saw him interrogate Paul. Despite having read his file, she wasn't able to accept his darker side, the side he had worked painstakingly hard to hide from her. And it had all been for nothing, as she had gone anyway.

He felt crushed to the core, when he returned to their hotel to find only his belongings there. A short note was pinned to the fridge saying she owed this to her husband, but Jack knew it was bull shit. She owed Paul nothing and him everything. She had been a wreck when they started out, he helped her, he made her; without him she would surely deteriorate once more. But he wouldn't have her back. No matter how much he loved her he wouldn't be made a fool of twice. She had made a mistake, well so had he. He was foolish for thinking he could ever have something like Terri again.

He had stalked around the room in anger, her note biting at him. She knew of his history and he was sure this was a dig at him. He left Nina to go back to his wife, was this any different? He didn't think so, the parallels were close and it saddened him to think that if the comparison were true, she had made the right decision, for he had certainly been happier with Terri. Damn it! He was frustrated and devastated, having lost the one thing he cared about, the one thing he needed. He thought the feeling had been neutral, that she had needed him too. He felt sick to his stomach as he realised how wrong he had been.

Maybe she had loved him at one point, but had grown stronger with their relationship, until she realised that she didn't need him. Maybe she had left out of guilt or regret for her husband. Maybe she still loved him. He couldn't spite her for that, she had to do right by herself. And if the parallel was true, then she wasn't supposed to be with him, and it should have never happened in the first place.

Maybe now he understood why Nina had been so bitter, so angry and jealous of his wife. He doubted he would sink to such a level, he would never loaf Paul, it wasn't in his personality. Nina had killed his wife, out of spite he knew. Revenge for leaving her, he imagined. Could he kill Paul, was he that desperate for love? No, he wouldn't do that.

But he had hurt him, in the hotel. Of course the torture was necessary for the information they needed, but before that when he had barged into the room, the first thing he'd done was attack him. Was that out of rage, fear he may take his love away from him? Was he the same as Nina? It didn't matter, thinking this was wouldn't bring Audrey back, it was over, she didn't love him the way he thought she did. It was stupid to have hoped for love really…. He had been given more than one second chance and he ruined every single one.

Maybe he wasn't meant to love.

Audrey snuggled up closer to Paul, enjoying the feeling of him next to her, it was a sensation she had almost forgotten. He was different to Jack, in so many ways. She felt bad about leaving him, but knew that once she saw him back in D.C., she would be able to explain things to him properly, apologise for wasting his time. She may not love him but she still cared, she would hate for him to be upset over her. But hopefully she could make him understand that, and until then she could enjoy getting to know her husband once more.

The night was long and Jack spent it drinking the bottles of beer he had room service bring up. He was upset over Audrey but even more angry at himself for noticing the connection between himself, Terri, Nina, Paul and Audrey. Now he felt he deserved it, and that maybe he knew more of why Nina acted like she did. The thought of him condoning Nina's actions made him physically ill, that wasn't right, it was just a coincidence, he was nothing like her.

He had herd a knock at his door and jumped up, wavering slightly from the alcohol. He tried to tell himself that it wasn't her to save himself the pain, but still couldn't help but hope it was. Maybe she had changed her mind and made the wrong decision, perhaps she wanted him back.

Tony noticed the look of disappointment cross Jacks face as soon as he opened the door. He tried to hide it but failed, he was miserable. Tony knew to keep his mouth shut, and in a similar mood himself he happily picked up one of the few dozen bottles of beer he had on the table. Something had happened.

Jack stood by the door knowing he should tell Tony not to drink, but how could he get on at him when his own life was slowly spiralling down the drain? He sat down heavily next to him on the couch, Tony gave him a questioning look but said nothing. Jack spoke, knowing Tony would only pry until he herd what was wrong.

"Audrey has decided she needs to be with her husband, so its over between us." The words hurt more, saying them out loud, it was as though he was accepting it and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Tony nodded thoughtfully, considering his words. He hoped he could help Jack understand, then maybe they could help each other.

"Me and Michelle talked today, at CTU. Things are definitely over, she said, she's already prepared the divorced papers."

Jack glanced over his bottle at him and the two stared at each other for a while, feeling strange as they were both being submitted to the same pain. They understood each other, perhaps more than they ever had.

"Want another beer?" Jack asked, leaning over to the table to replace his empty.

"Sure," Tony said, raising his eyes at the smirk in Jacks voice.

Jack handed him another and after they both took long pulls of the icy liquid, Jack couldn't help but grin. It was ridiculous, they were both trying to drown the sorrows of their broken hearts, yet the whole situation made them look so pathetic he had to laugh. Tony noticed the grin and realised he was holding his own back, knowing that Jack was thinking the same thing he was he grinned back, before the two erupted into laughter.

Nothing was funny about either situation, and that was what made it all the more laughable. The night went on with more laughter and beer and the two noticed that they were more alike than ever before as the dealt with the pain life had cruelly handed them once more.

Maybe they would make it through the darkness together this time.

END

Sorry if you already came across this once. The original version can be found through the link in my profile.

R and R is always good...


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